AnxietyIt is a signal that exists in all human nature and makes people alert to dangers. Due to its structure, it has functions such as protecting people from dangers and being able to act quickly in moments that require sudden intervention. It is a necessary impulse for a person to take action on many issues in his daily life (a young person who does not have anxiety about the future will have less motivation to prepare for the exam). However, despite all these positive functions, increased anxiety levels can make human life difficult.
It is important to distinguish whether the amount of anxiety is at a normal level or not in order to preserve functionality. If anxiety negatively affects a person's business life and social life, and if the object of concern is avoided, if the person avoids staying in that situation, that is, if it has started to negatively affect his daily life, it can be said that the anxiety is higher than it should be.
After talking about this entire anxiety mechanism, it is also important to talk about the effects of anxiety on parenting. Anxiety is likely to increase with the child. The responsibility of being a parent, the desire to ensure the safety of the child, to protect the defenseless child against possible dangers, and to warn against the bad things that may happen to him or her, can lead to increased anxiety. With this natural feeling, while mothers and fathers create a protected living space for their children, they may unintentionally prevent them from acquiring skills that may be vital for them.
What are the symptoms of anxiety?
- Feeling nervous and tense
- Don't focus on the negative
- Don't be restless
- Acceleration in heart rate
- Tremors in hands and legs
- don't panic
- Sweating
- Slips of the tongue and stuttering in times of tension
- Having difficulty focusing
- Low self-confidence
- Don't want to avoid your surroundings
- Having insomnia etc.
- Avoiding certain areas/situations
- A general state of uneasiness
The symptoms mentioned can manifest themselves in situations of intense anxiety, and there may be a single symptom or more than one symptom. Individuals who think they have these symptoms and parents who observe these symptoms in their children should take precautions in this regard.
How does an anxious parent treat his child?
Parents with high levels of anxiety try to turn the world into a protected area for their children, but in doing so, the child perceives the world as more dangerous. Dialogues that start with the sentences 'Stop, don't run, you'll fall', 'If you sweat, you'll get sick', 'Be careful' create a feeling of insecurity in children and they have to struggle with the feeling that something could happen to them at any moment. These parents unintentionally prevent their children from having a new experience, and therefore their children's problem-solving, self-expression and ability to adapt to new situations cannot develop. Because the family provides the best conditions for the child, they feel like the world is falling apart at the slightest negativity.
What are the effects of being an anxious parent on a child?
- inability to express oneself
- Not wanting his parents to do things for him
- Being restless and unhappy when parents are not around
- Having difficulty with problem solving skills
- Don't be stressed
- Overwhelm due to parents' intense worry
- Don't have negative thoughts
- Sharing your parents' concerns
- Overreacting to small negative events that happen to you
- Panic in uncertain situations
- Intense feeling of fear
- Intense anxiety about the future or not caring at all, etc. situations can be observed.
Factors that maintain anxiety in children
The child's way of thinking, avoiding the situation or object he fears, and parental attitudes are what maintain anxiety in the child. The child's way of thinking and behavior are formed by the influence of the environment and genes in which he lives. Parental attitudes that maintain anxiety can be listed as follows;
- Don't be overprotective: If parents carry out the responsibilities of their children and think on their behalf, problem-solving skills will not develop in children. For this reason, when they are faced with new situations, they feel helpless and, as a result, become anxious.
- How to be a perfectionist parent: Even if parents do not expect high success from their children, if they have the effort and ambition to be the best in everything, this can also be seen in the child. The anxiety that everyone who does not get full marks is a failure can be placed on the child.
- Being a negative role model: There is a high probability that the anxiety experienced by the family on any issue can also be seen in the child (such as the children of an overly meticulous mother developing an obsession on this issue).
- Rewarding avoidant behavior: Children avoid confronting objects and situations that make them anxious. If this behavior is rewarded by the parents, even if unintentionally, it is reinforced (such as paying close attention at home to the child who avoids going to school).
If the parents' anxiety has passed on to the child, what can be done other than paying attention to parental attitudes?
- It is important not to underestimate the things he is afraid of and to express that you understand his feelings. In this way, children feel that they are not alone and that they are understood.
- An observation form can be created to determine in which areas the child is worried.
- Measuring children's anxiety levels is important in this regard, but it would be more useful to do this concretely. Thermometer, drawing showing car speed increase etc. materials can be used. In the observation form, the extent of anxiety and at what times can be noted.
- Children can be taught to do fun relaxation exercises and use their muscles (imaginary lemon squeezing for hand muscles, counting backwards from 100, etc.). This way, children can learn to relax themselves in times of anxiety.
- If the anxiety level is high and disrupts your life, a specialist should be consulted.
Parenting Styles and Their Impact on Children
Anxiety in Parents and Children
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