The way parents respond to the child's emotional and physical needs, their clarity in drawing boundaries, and their guiding skills play a decisive role in the development of the child's personality and social skills. Because the first and most important bond a child establishes in his life is with his parents; Therefore, the child begins to shape his attitude and reactions towards the world, events, and himself according to their approaches and reactions. What kind of authority figure the parents are and their upbringing attitude are the primary guides in building the child's personality traits such as sense of responsibility, self-control, independence, self-awareness and respect, self-confidence and initiative. Research shows that there are four basic parenting styles:
- Authoritarian Parenting Style
In this type of parenting style, parents expect complete obedience from the child without conveying the logic and reasons for setting the rules. In this parenting style, which is normative and strict, children do what is expected of them with a feeling of fear and anxiety. Because the motivation of children to comply with these rules, which are shaped according to the parents' own truths, not according to the child's personality characteristics, development or needs, is to avoid punishment and negative treatment. For this reason, low self-confidence and self-perception are observed in children growing up in such families; Children tend to be more withdrawn, dependent, anxious and aggressive.
- Democratic Parenting Style
In the democratic parenting style, the disciplinary rules set by parents are consistent and continuous. However, unlike authoritarian parents, democratic parents make the rules by taking into account the child's development, needs and potential and explaining the logic(s) of the rules. They are aware of the child's emotional and physical needs and take care to meet them. They are more conciliatory and solution-oriented when rules are set, enforced, and when they are violated. In this parenting style, where positive behaviors are appreciated and rewarded, parents act as guiding and supportive mentors rather than punitive ones. Children raised with a democratic parenting style tend to be self-sufficient, able to manage their emotions, not afraid to express their opinions freely, and with high sense of responsibility and self-esteem.
- Neglectful Parenting Style
In the neglectful parenting style, parents are indifferent to the emotional and physical needs of their children. These parents, who generally have poor communication with children, expect the child to be self-sufficient and see parenting only as meeting basic needs (shelter, food, etc.). Low motivation, self-confidence and self-control are observed in these children who cannot receive sufficient guidance, attention and love from their parents.
- Permissive Parenting Style
In the permissive parenting style, families have low expectations of responsibility from their children and prefer not to impose many rules on their children. There are no disciplinary rules unless there is a “serious” problem, so their attitude towards the child, although sensitive, is inconsistent. Because they treat their children "like friends" rather than parents, they have difficulty providing adequate guidance. Since children with this type of parents do not have a developed perception of respecting authority and obeying rules, behavioral and school adaptation problems are frequently encountered. Addiction and emotional control difficulties are frequently encountered in children of permissive parents, as in children of authoritarian families.
Château Education Expert Psychologist Nil Ünver
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